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THE MANGFATHER BOB KATZ

SIX CANS OF OLIVES

LYRICS BY ROBERT ALAN KATZ

MISSION STATEMENT

I am not heroic
I’m older than your father
I used to beat up little kids, and I liked the power

I will not be fronting
I will not be smiling
Though you’ll hopefully be laughing, you also will be crying

I am not essential 
I am not courageous
I’m walking these streets praying, that these maskholes aren’t contagious

If you need me to tell you the Republicans are fascist thugs,
There’s something wrong with you
If you don’t understand (that) they want us dead, 
I don’t belong with you

If you want ’preaching to the converted’, 
then go to church
If you want ‘wisdom of the elders’, 
then I’m the worst

But if you want raw unvarnished truth, 
I’ll try to bring it
And if my rapping sucks, 
I guess I’ll have to sing it

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

There Are Pieces of People on My Shoe (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

Verse 1

I knew a man who joined the police

All he wanted was to keep the peace

He was downtown when those towers got hit

God knows he must have seen some awful shit

When they picked him up that night he smelled like death

He was muttering underneath his breath. (He said)

Chorus

There are pieces of people on my shoe

There are pieces of people on my shoe

I don’t know what I am going to do

There are pieces of people on my shoe

Verse 2

I had a boss who killed to get ahead

She stepped on other people till they bled

She had some friends but that was just a sham

When she got cancer no one gave a damn

Now she sits in her hospital room

Talking to herself all afternoon (She says)

Chorus

There are pieces of people on my shoe

There are pieces of people on my shoe

I don’t know what I am going to do

There are pieces of people on my shoe

Verse 3

Last night I found my husband in bed with a man

I beat him up and threw him in the can

Do I tell him I'm sorry and forget the past

This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last

He cleaned up the mess and said he'd pay his dues

Now my heart is splattered all over my shoes

Chorus

There are pieces of people on my shoe

There are pieces of people on my shoe

I don’t know what I am going to do

There are pieces of people on my shoe

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

It’s in the Genes/Who Put the Levi’s on Pookie Levine (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

Verse 1
My sister’s first boyfriend was Pookie Levine
He had the biggest butt you ever did seen
Now that’s saying a lot cause we was fat too
But one of him was equal, to-us-two

One day at the store we saw the whole Levine family 
And all at once we could see the whole (entire) calamity
There was Pookie, his mother, and his sister Doris,
And holy shit, they were all ginormous!

My sister looked sad at the situation
But then she said in her lamentation
Right there in that store in the middle of Queens

It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes
It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes

Verse 2
What made it worse and we couldn’t stop laughing
Was the skin-tight dungarees they were all wearing
Hugging their rumps like a pornographic scene
And who put the Levi’s on Pookie Levine
Who put the Levi’s on Pookie Levine

It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes
She’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, she’s in the genes

Verse 3
Now I’m not proud of my behavior, 
But I wasn't even a teenager
Participating in that time-honored tradition
Making fun of someone else to boost my position

See I was the first kid in my class to top 100 pounds 
A number which my teacher did loudly announce
Sentencing me to the Hall of Shame
And to a life-time of self-blame

It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes
It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in my genes

Verse 4
Years of Weight Watchers and 50 pounds later
Suffering to look good so I can be a creator 
We still reminiscence about what we had seen
And who put the/those Levi’s on Pookie Levine
Who put the Levi’s on Pookie Levine

Outro
It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes
It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes

That big-ass butt in those tight-ass jeans
It’s in the genes, yeah, yeah, it’s in the genes

Who put the Levi’s on Pookie Levine
That boy was looking obscene

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Off the Grid (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

It make me laugh when they be saying, ‘it’s all about the Benjamins’
Musicians live our lives, like we swinging on a pendulum
There’s no cheddar in this game, you’re all just clueless
We scrimp and we save, to be able to do this
If I was in it for the money, I’d just say ‘screw this!’

Hey Mangfather, how you do what you did?
I’ve been off the grid, since I was a kid, 

Off the grid since I was a kid,
You better look out, it’s my takeover bid!

 

See,
I could pay for cable TV, but I won't
I could pay full price for a movie, but I don't 
My body may be short, but I don't wear (no) bespoke
I rock Levis Husky Boys Jeans, this ain't no joke

I let my hair grow, till it get(s) big
Then I sell it to the Chasids, and they make a wig
You can keep (all) your consumer swag
I got all my money, in this here bag

(Hey Mangfather, how you do what you did?)
I’ve been off the grid, since I was a kid,

Been off the grid since I was a kid,

I've been off the grid since I was a kid, been off the grid
 

You thought cause I wasn’t one of the cool kids, that I was conventional
Now I’m so much hotter than you, that it’s unmentionable
I don’t need to buy no hip shit to be socially acceptable
You better watch out; my beats are incredible
I’m the new sensation, I’m the Hip Hop Intellectual!

I can live a whole week, on just one twenty
I’m dumpster diving, like a junkie 
I make a meal from 1-buck pizza 
If you’re a free sample, I’m gonna eats ya!

I’m hand washing my clothes, in the tub 
I’m arriving before 10, to the night club
I bring my own food, to the arena
A loaf of bread in my drawers, I think semolina

I’m sneaking to the front, at the show
If you stop me I just move, to the next row
I change my look, baseball cap, glasses, and a hoodie
I’m the master of disguise, I ain’t no rookie

If you can handle potential humiliation
Your life can be a non-stop celebration
Unencumbered by possessions
I dedicate my life to self-expression

(Hey Mangfather, how you do what you did?)
I’ve been off the grid, since I was a kid, been off the grid

Off the grid since I was a kid, been off the grid

That was supposed to be the end, but along came Corona
That shit’ll kill you, this ain’t no bologna
Now I’m stuck at home, but I ain’t scared
Cause when you off the grid, you come prepared

I got my beans, got my tuna, got my pasta and my rice
Got my mango juice with rum, and that shit is (taste) nice
I already hand wash my laundry and do my own hair 
If you think I look like crap, I don’t care

Got enough Lysol to make it, till Armageddon
And I’m here making beats, and my guitar be shreddin’
The people be screaming, for the rhymes that I spit
That virus won’t stop me, I WAS MADE FOR THIS SHIT!

 

Cause

I’ve been off the grid, since I was a kid

Been off the grid since I was a kid,

Been off the grid since I was a kid, 

Been off the grid (2x)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

SIX CANS OF OLIVES (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

Went to the store, 
coronavirus 
Nothing on the shelf but six cans of olives
Those slimy green boogers never went to college
They don’t even know if they’re liquids or they’re solids

CHORUS


Six cans of olives,
Six cans of olives
Whatcha gonna do with six cans of olives?
Those slimy green boogers never went to college
They don’t even know if they’re liquids or they’re solids


Six cans of olives,
Six cans of olives
Whatcha gonna do with six cans of olives?
They taste so nasty they should probably be abolished
I guess I gotta live on six cans of olives

Verse 1


You can put em in your nose, 
Then they pop out when ya blows
You can stick em on your toes 
Then you can feed em to your hos

You can drink an olive milkshake,
You can (Then) make an olive pancake
You can take an olive tea break, (sing in British accent)
Oooh! Now I’ve got a stomach ache! (bellyache/tummyache)

CHORUS 

Verse 2

You can pop em in the freezer
You can eat em with a tweezer
You can smoke an olive reefer
Can an olive get a fever?

You can (learn) do the olive handshake
You can put them in a cheese cake
Can an olive get a tax break?
It’s the Olive Dance Break!
Shake shake shake shake shake shake!

(instrumental Dance Music going into meditation hypnotic music)

(Me speaking)

I’m so hungry I’m feeling dizzy….

(Olive speaking in low, meditative, hypnotic voice)

This is your olive speaking
You’re all a bunch of doodyheads for fucking up the environment and now you must pay….
And by the way, olives do go to college dickhead

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! (Me)

CHORUS (2X)

(Me talking)

Oh wow, check it out, there’s a jar of pickled garlic on the shelf too!
What rhymes with pickled garlic?

(Garlic speaking)

if you touch me faggot, I promise you stinky breath for the next century!

(Me talking)

Stay safe y’all and god bless!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Corona n’ Lyme

Sitting at home with Corona, feeling cooped up
When everything’s closed, the city do suck

Let’s head to the country, where the cows eat the grass 
And you’ll get a Lyme Disease tick up your ass

 

Chorus - 2x
Corona and Lyme
Corona and Lyme
Two at a time /Both at one time
Corona and Lyme

Corona and Lyme
Corona and Lyme
What a good time/We’ll have a good time/Last: Have a wonderful time with
Corona and Lyme

 

Poke around Westchester, see what you get
I don’t have Lyme Disease, at least not yet
You got a cough, I gotta a fever
Let’s go out, and look at a beaver

 

Chorus - 1x

Looking for solitude, looking for peace
Maybe you’ll get one, in your underarm crease
If you be thinking, that COVID is bad
Wait till you get, the Lyme with that scab

 

Chorus - 1x

Oh how I love, these nature trails
They’re really good, when my immune system fails
Go to the hospital for an antibiotic
That’s right both of them, will make you psychotic

Chorus - 2x
Last time: Have a wonderful time, with Corona and Lyme

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bad Religion (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

Verse 1
When I came out gay my uncle offered to pay me
To get out of town and to marry a lady 
He said I was causing my dad great pain
That I was a stain on the family name

That he couldn’t show his face in the holy temple
That I was being led around by the devil
That I needed to repent and to change my ways 
Or I’d never get the blessings of God’s praise

Chorus
Bad religion, bad bad religion
Bad religion, bad bad religion
Jew, Mus-lim, Hin-du or Christian 
They all share, in the tradition
Of, bad religion, bad bad religion
Gotta view them all with suspicion (Talk)

 

Verse 2
I said to yo uncle I know that you love me
So I won't marry a dyke and take all your money
But you best be believing I ain’t leaving this town 
You can hurt me but you can’t knock me down
All our family died in the holocaust 
So you getting rid of me is totally onerous

Chorus

 

Verse 3
That was 30 years ago and I ain’t seen him since then
He listens to his rabbi and all the wise men
Who say I am dead and that he should forget
I skipped your wife’s funeral, didn’t pay my respects

Feel kind of bad but they treat me like dirt 
I’m tired of all this rejection and hurt
Sick of all these power mad religious wackos
Who fuckwith people’s lives, from out of the shadows

Chorus

Verse 4
And I’m not saying anybody's got the prescription
We got crazy asses in every religion
Thinking that they know the word of God
Praying with their minds but not with their heart

Preying on the weak like white sharks in Cape Cod
Skimping on forgiveness but never sparing the rod
And of course, most of these assholes are men
All of the power, it’s gone to their head!

Chorus

Verse 5
Sometimes I think that the world’s gone crazy
No one thinks for themselves, we all got lazy
Fascists, dictators, religious demagogues
Get the weak and the gullible to carry their bombs

Uncle, your end is soon in sight
Why don’t you think about making things right?
What am I thinking, it ain’t gonna happen 
Still I will be sad with your passing

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Corona n’ Shark

Country trip was a dud, with the Lyme Disease bugs
So let’s head to the beach, where your COVID will bleach

You can go for a swim, but then you see that fin
You better run run run, or your life will be done

Chorus - 2x
Corona and Shark
Corona and Shark
1. The water is dark, with Corona and Shark
2. It’s a bite in the park
3. What, you think it’s a lark?
With Corona and Shark

Shark Shark

Corona and Shark

In old Cape Cod, they eat you like scrod
And in Southhampton, they mistake you for salmon 
Go local in Rockaway, they eat you anyway
Head down east to Maine, to enjoy the pain

Chorus - 1x

When you arrive, Mr. Jaws say welcome back
The pups are running me ragged, we be needing a snack
The virus closed the fish schools, now they learning online
While little sharkies eat you up, I can finally get some “me time"

Chorus - 2x
After Last time: Don't eat me. This is just not my day....

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Maskhole (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

Verse 1
Who the fuck you think you are?
Taking up the sidewalk like you’re the Czar
Think you got herd immunity?
Break the law with impunity?

Chorus
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Stick that shit up your flagpole

Verse 2
Shouldn’t see that smile, but I do
Saying “I’ll do me and you do you”
Thinking you’re the master race
Get your aerosols out my face

Chorus
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Stick that shitup your flagpole

Bridge
Maskhole neighbors in my apartment hall
Maskhole invaders coming to my door
Maskhole joggers huffing and puffing
Maskhole smokers coughing and chucking

If I get sick, cause of you
You’ll die from something stronger than the flu

Verse 3
Your self-regard is out of place
Your theories are from outer space
You don’t give a shit about anyone else
Why don’t you go and fuck yourself

Chorus (2x)
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
Maskhole Maskhole you’re an asshole
You can stick that shit up your flagpole

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Corona n’ Shack (Explicit - Radio Clean Version also Available)

Verse 1
We been to the Country, we been to the Beach.
Gotta say, none of these was a peach.
Between the Lyme disease bugs, and Mr. Jaws and his spouse
Gonna get my Coronafied Ass, back to my house

Chorus - 2x

Corona and Home
Corona and Shack
Hope the landlord don’t stick,
A knife in my back

Corona and Home
Corona and Shack
Where the neighbors be going,
Yackety Yack

1. We’ll share a six-pack, Corona and Shack

2. We’ll help you unpack, Corona and Shack

3. Come (up and) see me, on the wrong side of the track

4. Won’t you come on back, to Corona and Shack

 

Verse 2
Guess my apartment, is pretty nice
I got plenty of wildlife, if you include bugs and mice
Open a window; pull up a chair
I call it my terrace, and I won’t share

Chorus - 2x

Verse 3
The pigeons visit, six feet away
When they agree to wear masks, I ask them to stay
Got my tropical breeze, and my blender drink
Don’t have to shower, even if I stink

Chorus - 2x

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

THE MANGFATHER BOB KATZ

CAUGHT IN A BUTT SANDWICH

LYRICS BY ROBERT ALAN KATZ

CAUGHT IN A BUTT SANDWICH

 

Verse 1

Sitting on the subway, all alone

Thinking of the fun I’ll have, when I get home

A man sat down and he was large

His booty almost moved me to the next car

A woman came in and sat abreast

I was thinking ‘which mango is the best’

Lost track of my bearings and when I looked up

I was caught between, ‘uh-oh!’, two big butts!

Refrain

You been caught in a butt sandwich

Caught in a butt sandwich……A butt sandwich…..Butt sandwich

 

Verse 2

Now normally, I like me some tail

But these rumps was squeezing so tight, I can’t exhale

A woman cross the aisle started screaming in Spanish,

‘Dios mios it’s a Manwich in a butt sandwich!’

 

I was really embarrassed so I turned to the preacher

He said, ‘let Jesus, be your teacher’

I said, ‘he may be God’s son,

But he’d still be a burger in a hot-cross bun’

Refrain

Bridge

Can't move…….Can't breath……I'm never gonna be able to leave (2X)

Cause I'm caught!

Refrain

 

Verse 3

So then the train comes around to my stop

I pull and I squeeze, and out I pop

Go flying (in)to the lap of a sexy man

I guess that’s what they mean, by God’s plan

 

You been caught in a butt sandwich

Caught in a butt sandwich…..A butt sandwich

A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal

But now I got something real……..A butt sandwich (3X)

A butt sandwich (4X)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

 

Verse 1

You didn’t have no drunk ass teacher with the tenure.  You don’t have to like me I don’t care if I offend ya.

You didn’t have to keep your money in your socks, so you can get home when they threaten you with glocks.

You didn’t have to suck at Parsons Boulevard Station. You didn’t have to escape by faking mental retardation.

You didn’t have your friends all die from AIDS.  Don’t tell me no shit about “The Good Old Days”.

 

Verse 2

You didn’t have the sister with her life turned to wreckage. Referenced by Grandmaster Flash in “The Message”.

“They pushed that girl in front of the train.  Took her to the doctor, sewed her arm on again”

You didn’t hear about it on Channel Eleven.  That Skull and Crossbones, made an impression.

No one told me what was going on.  I followed it on TV, all alone.

Didn’t know if my sister was going to live!  And I was just a fucking kid!

 

You didn‘t have to go to school, the next day.  Everybody pointing “why he here,” like I had a say.

None of my teachers asked how I was doing.  All I got was “how come your grades aren’t improving?”

You didn’t get no threats from NBC’s Gabe Pressman.  An exclusive from my parents or he’d oppress them.

Media sharks feeding frenzy gone wild!  And all my father say to me is “how dare you smile!”

Motherfucker, I was still just a child!

So don’t push me cause I’m close to the edge.  And don’t tell me no shit about “The Good Old Days”

 

Bridge

You come to New York, like 5 years ago.  Wall Street money, daddy’s credit card in tow.

Buying big apartments, the Gucci garments, you paying in cash, but without the installments.

Talk like you been here, from the beginning. “I miss the old Times Square; it was So Real!”

What the hell do you know!  All you doing is winning.  “We was kicking it, Old School!”

Sorry, I hate, to call you ridiculous. But just cause you read Patti Smith, don’t make you indigenous!

So you wanna know what, it was really like.  Wanna get a good whiff, of that garbage strike.

Let me take your ass back to them good old days!

 

Verse 3

You didn’t have to walk, in the middle of the street, to stay out of the latest, racial beef

You didn’t get made, to feel like a fool , when that lady from Yale say “we don’t take people from your school!”

You didn’t have the teacher with the gun to the head. You didn’t have the same textbooks Abe Lincoln read.

You didn’t have your arm broke by punks during recess; cause you a Short Fat Faggot Jew Boy, Caucasian Reject.

 

So there you have it.  There’s my dossier.  That fucks me up, till this day.

So just don’t tell me, it was only a phase.  And don’t tell me no shit, about “The Good Old Days”.

It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from goin’ under (repeat)

How could you say that?  I guess this is payback.  Fuck you world!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

TOO MANY CRITICS

 

Chorus

Too many critics, not enough doers,  Too many shakers, not enough movers

Too many experts, not enough creators           

Gonna go crazy, with all of you haters

It's so easy to criticize.  It’s so hard to mobilize.  When will you realize….

 

Verse 1

Little girl post(s) a poem on Facebook

Troll say she look like she came from a spaceship

Everyone think it’s so damn funny

Little girl hang herself on Monday

Mean as shit cause you think you anonymous 

Jealousy for those who create is bottomless

Your bullshit opinions are so fucking monotonous

When there’s show called “Loser”, you’ll be eponymous

 

Chorus

 

Verse 2

Bigshot Critic takes a playwriting class

Keeps panning us all with his verbal gas

When he bring in his work we give it THUMBS DOWN

That’s the last time we see Mr. Bigshot around

He can dish it out but he can’t take it

He can criticize art but he can’t make it

He’s a snake in the grass, and he can’t fake it

My will is strong and he can’t break it!

 

Chorus

 

Bridge (sung)

You Facebook critics are so boring.  When you talk I can’t stop snoring

You are not prophetic.  You are just pathetic

 

Verse 3

Sitting in song group going over a piece

My feedback’s going on, it’s giving me no peace

So in love with my voice, say the same thing twice

Better shut the fuck up take my own advice

Cause artistic work is non-negotiable

It lives, it breathes, it's not disposable

This is the thing I’m trying to teach

But I better be sure to follow what I preach!

 

Chorus

 

END

(Repeat 1st part of chorus then)

Stop reviewing, Start doing (4-5X)  START!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING/YO PIZZA RAT

 

Verse 1

“If you see something, say something”, the poster said

I see a man out cold, don’t know if he’s dead

Tell the cop standing there patrolling the subway

He says “cool your pits man, he’s nothing but a junkie”

 

Chorus (2X)

(So) If you see something say something (Muthafucka)

And we’ll laugh/smirk and we’ll do nothing

Cause we don’t give a shit, about your suffering

Let’s get these bullets pumping! (1st time)

Let’s get down, get this party bumping!  (2nd time)

 

Verse 2

A man yells “that woman jumped onto the tracks!”

There’s a train speeding toward her gonna flatten her ass

We beg and we plead for her to run

She stands there staring at us, but finally she come

We pull her up to the platform, out of the tracks

She acts like nothing happened; she’s totally whacked

I go up to the subway booth, give it a smack

The token man, seen it, just turns his back

 

Chorus

 

Bridge

Stop right there!

Why the fuck you blaming me

I’m not the savior of humanity

You give me these weapons, tell me to stop the terror

Now we’ve got a police state, you see the error

You knew this was coming, take that blanket off of your head

So why the hell you calling me, you made your own bed

 

Verse 3 

(Telephone Dial Tone noise)

911

There’s a donut on the floor with powder that looks like Anthrax. 

Yes

Say Something!

911

There’s this guy sitting across from me and he looks like a Mooslim.   You know, he's got a beard, and he’s wearing this really big winter coat.  Like I don’t know if he’s got a bomb in there or maybe he’s just really fat.  He’s also got his hair in this head dress thing and I think he may have a gun in there.

No

Do Nothing!

Crisis HotLine

My best friend’s fiancé just made a pass at me.  I believe he may be a terrorist.

Yes

Say Something!

My husband is wearing the ugliest pants I have ever seen.  Do you think he may have joined Al Quai Eeda?

No

Do Nothing!

There’s this big McDonald’s bag on the floor and I think there might be something in it.

Yes

Say Something!

Oh, actually it’s just Pizza Rat.

No

Do Nothing!

Yo, Pizza Rat!  What up?

 

Chorus

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THE SYSTEM

 

What is this System bout I keep hearing 

Blame it for everything, it don’t get wearying

When I can’t get a gig, lose the competition

 I say ‘Can’t resist em, you can’t beat the System…..Yeah yeah yeah

It’s the System.  You can't beat the System.’

 

And everyone nods their heads like they know what I’m talking bout

But I don’t even know what the hell I’m squawking bout

I’m saying folks with more money and power than me

Have banded together with their homophobic mentality

To deny my musical individuality

My brutalist venal theatricality

That seems to be my spe-ci-a-li-ty

Or maybe they just think I suck

 

Refrain

'Hey can’t resist em, you can’t beat the System…. Yeah Yeah Yeah….

It’s the System.  You can't beat the System’.......

 

But what if it’s just my own paranoia

That tells me:

‘They’re afraid to employ ya

They try to avoid ya

They want to destroy ya’

 

And if every time I fail, I blame the system,

I guess that makes me the victim

Then I don’t have to do anything to improve my position

And I can sit on my ass and pretend I got wisdom

 

Refrain

 

Well system or no system

I’m gonna get to work like I’m on a mission

Gonna hit you so hard, like Sonny Liston

Prince Charles’s gonna feel it, back in old Great Britain

And all of you haters goin’ straight to prison

Cause it’s my greatness you been missin’

 

But if I still can’t get a gig….

 

Refrain

 

Outro:

It’s the System

But hey, you missed ‘em (many X)

….and I’m still great  

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

THIS IS MY FUNERAL SONG

Verse 1

To all my friends and loved ones

I hope that you outlived me

And if I was a dick to you

I hope that you’ll forgive me.

I’m writing this stuff down now,

So I won’t be misquoted

You won’t have to guess what I was thinking

And this service won’t be bloated

Chorus

This is my funeral song

You can play this when I'm gone

After that play “Ain’t Nobody”

From Rufus With Chaka Khan

 

Cast my ashes near a mango tree

Or throw them in the Berring Sea

Maybe if I’m lucky

I’ll wash up at Coney - Island

Verse 2

Please don’t say I was a saint

We all know I wasn’t

Please don’t say my spirit guides you,

We all know it doesn’t

 

If that mystic shit helps you out,

Well then it’s ok

But me I really liked to eat,

We’ve got a great buffet

 

Chorus

Verse 3

When I tried to act hard-boiled

You all knew it was a pose

Instead it seemed my job in life

Was to emotionally expose

 

People called me sensitive

As if it was a curse

But I helped a lot of folks

You could do a whole lot worse

 

Chorus

Outro

It was a blessing to feel so intensely

It was an honor to love so immensely

I never understood what you saw in me

But hey, who am I to disagree

 

Now go eat

Go eat! (2X)

It's Good!

Go eat! (2X)

It's Good!

Go eat!

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

ENTER THE MANGFATHER

 

I was bopping along, down the main drag

A big juicy mango in my Gucci bag

Thought I heard someone come sneak up behind me

Pulled my mango pit shiv, case they try to malign me

Saw a nifty tag that was straight up gang

(It) said You want to make it to fifty?

Don’t mess with the mang

 

Now at first I didn’t think that that message was mine

A lot of guys out here that’s forty-nine

So I scooped up my mango, headed to my crib

Where me and twelve yummy mangos live

Then I saw another piece of fresh graff

If it wasn’t still wet, I’d probably just laugh

It said don’t be a fool, 

We coming for you

 

Now I’m not a man that gets easily creeped

But I have to confess that I totally freaked

I looked around, couldn’t see nothing

But just in case, I started running

A Maybach in the middle of the street,

A mango in the driver’s seat

Shows me that, he’s packing heat

 

From the way he was stone cold chillin’

I could tell that mango was the villain

He said they call me The Mangfather

But you can just call me Arthur

He grabbed my Gucci bag, took my mango

Rolled over me like he was doing the fandango

 

Then he used my bag to give me a whang

Turned to me and said with a twang, he was from Down South

Don’t mess with the mang

 

He said next time baby, do me a favor

I know you be liking that mango flavor

But if you value your life, take my advice,  Don’t mess with the mang

The mange is gonna get ya (3X).  Don’t mess with the mang

A mango in a Maybach, getting payback (3X).  Don’t mess with the mang

The Mangfather gonna get ya. (3X).  Don’t mess with the mang

 

That’s right baby,  Don’t mess with the mang

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

WOODY GUTHRIE GANGSTA RAPPER

 

Woody Guthrie was an Oakie                                                                     

Woody Guthrie was a folkie                                                                        

Woody Guthrie travelled all over this land said all’s not okey dokey

Is this land your land?                                                                                  

Is this land my land?                                                                         

"All you can write is what you see”, said Good Old Woody G.     

 

Woody Guthrie lost his mommy                                                                

Woody Guthrie was a commie                                                                   

His father was a member of the KKK                                                         

So Woody took his guitar, got the hell away,                                            

and played for everybody                                                                         

 

His guitar said “This machine kills fascists”                                      

They threatened him with forty lashes                                                       

But he stood for all the world to see,                                                         

That Good Old Woody G. (repeat)                             

 

(The Ghost of Woody Guthrie)

Hey you! 

That’s right faggot, you!  It’s the Ghost of Woody Guthrie.  Cut that folk shit out! Do you really think that after 50 years, I’m playing an acoustic guitar and doing the same damn thing.  Here’s what I’m up to now dumb ass!

 

I’m leaning on the cops with Black Lives Matter

Hacking the IRS like a young whipper snapper

Defending Planned Parenthood and Roe V Wade

Even though I’m dead and in my grave

 

I’m snatching that rug offa Trump’s big head

Occupying Wall Street with my waterbed

Don’t touch those refugees, I’ll get you with my dagger

Cause I’m Woody Guthrie I’m a gangsta rapper! (repeat)

 

I’m twerkin’ and tokin’ with Miley Cyrus

I’m hosting the Grammy’s cause I’m lookin’ so stylish

I’m on Instagram, I’m posting my selfies

I’m so hot, I’m doing a striptease

 

I’m taking all your guns and keeping um

Gonna redistribute some of your personal income

I’m a True Blue Socialist Bernie Backer

Cause I’m Woody Guthrie and I’m a gangsta rapper! (repeat)

 

When I died I thought this country was getting more equal

Now this place feels like a really bad sequel

What these Republicans are doing to the poor, should be illegal

You better be scared I’m about to get lethal

 

I ain’t playing no motha fucking peace songs

I’m blowing up tankers with Greenpeace bombs

I’m out on the prairie, fucking up frackers

Cause I’m Woody Guthrie I’m a gangsta rapper! (repeat)

 

Look for me in the punk club mosh pits

Look for me with the cyber-activists

Look for me in Tahrir Square

Look for me delivering free health care

Look for me in Zuccotti Park

Look for me in Ferguson, after dark

 

I’ll be there

 

Don’t blame that stupid Bob Katz for this song.  He just took dictation.  Say it again, Bob.

 

I’m Woody Guthrie I’m a gangsta rapper (4x)

 

Stop!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________